Sorry Dad…
Hello Guys,
Today, wait for a sec, actually I wants to directly write bye in this blog as the problem today is related to my family, which basically people says not to share with anyone and according to me, they are absolutely correct but I started this blog to get rid out of my thoughts so that I could focus on my work. So, I am thinking to tell you about all this shit.
You may be knowing my younger sister, today because of her my mom dad both cried. I don’t know what is going in her mind is she in any confusion or something but she did very wrong. Actually what happened, today she asked me to go to her friend’s house which was actually not important to go. She was also saying me to ask for the joining of coaching. I refused that too, just because this is the end of the year and once this session will over I will myself send her to the coaching but no.
Her friends are going to coaching and because of them she is just creating scenes in home. Usually I always supports her because of her I has to listen all the things, my parents scolds me always whenever I supports her. But today I felt like if I haven’t got her as sister, she is not looking at anything she is creating like do or die situation. She always just thinks that she is the only problem my family had and because of it nobody loves her everybody just agrees everything of her brother (that is me) and always refuses for her.
How would I make her understand that I myself has killed many of my dreams, they agrees my words because I myself didn’t demand anything till it is important as hell. Everything else which we say desires are far away from me. I also have them I am also a normal human being but my family conditions shows me my priorities, I am working just to improve my family’s conditions, everything else is after that. But she is just demanding everything without thinking about anything.
I am not saying to think about conditions but you must think is it correct or not, She today shouted on dad, she was crying which makes my dad angry and he started saying why are you crying am I dead or I should die. She just shouted in reply and said I must die that will be the best for all of you. I am just at a point of crying, but somehow I managed not to but my dad started crying after sometime. I literally never seen my dad crying before, my dad never cry for anyone, neither in anyone’s funeral nor in any situation where many people breaks down.
I have seen him struggling in situations in which some people gives up, but he just keeps struggling to bare all of our expenses and demands which he finds relevant and I saw that kind of person crying today. My original mental and emotional strengths are my mom and dad. In emotional cases all the time my dad says every time you cry that means you are stepping back and you don’t have courage to face what is ahead. Today that person himself cries and which father will not cry in this kind of situation. He struggles and puts his whole day just for his family and children and one who you love the most shouts at you that if she or he will die your problems will be solved…
I can’t even think of what they are going through, I just don’t know what should I do? I am just blank at this time. I cannot find any solution for this situation. As much I try to stabilize things, as much I try to make people happy they suffer that much somehow. I am resting here because I don’t have anything to say further and I totally don’t want to cry those who wants to know about my day and placements sorry guys today I don’t have words for that, yes I don’t get any placement mails today got one that was of no mean to tell you and I cannot further elaborate that all so…
Bye Guys.
“Everytime I tries to fix something it breaks more, everytime…”
