I am not best at all…
Hello Guys,
Today was nothing good, my whole day just spoiled whole day was a great time waste, I can’t even play game today I tried but my performance, well I can’t perform I don’t know why but today I was not able to perform, I was able to get the first position 2 times today but in both of that matches I was feeling like that match was not won by my skills, it was just my luck because of which we won the match, the reason of thinking like this is one more that we played a custom TDM with a team and we got defeated by 30 points straight, the final score was 10-40, defeat is not a problem but this much of margin they make us feel literally helpless, this actually shows I am not prepare for the tournament as much I was thinking.
This is not about only me, none of my tam members are prepared for the tournament, I am shocked by the fact that we got defeated in head-on fights, this cleared one thing to me that is I need alot more practice which I was thinking, I am not at all standing anywhere for now, I knew many great players are out there but I didn’t expected my skills to be this much bad, well I will do what I am trying from this much of time, practice and as much as possible, I know my real practice will be started from 27th, because I will be in Hyderabad and no one will be there to disturb between the match I could practice as much as possible and at any time.
Well today I lost all of my confidence of head-on fights and from then my performance just degrading after some matches I stopped playing for today, I didn’t open the game even once after that, I was literally thinking what was happening, there movement of jiggle were great, I still can’t do that, I am still in the shock I can’t explain what am I feeling, my whole confidence shook today, that 1 match wiped all my chicken dinner all my winning in once, I can’t think even how will I able to fight with them in tournament, I had my best gun, I had my best settings, I had my best attachments, everything was fine but I myself was not best, I am not best still not even in my colony because the clan I fight with today was clan of my friend’s brother, they he is also registering with his clan and now I am thinking what will happen if ever in the tournament we came infront of each other.
Well before that we have to complete the in game qualifiers round and the keeping today’s scenario in mind I don’t think we will be able to qualify that, however I should not be negative I should just focus on my practice and our team’s synergy, I should keep believe in my team, which I have but I am not able to believe myself for now, well I don’t know what will happen in tournaments the only thing I know is from tomorrow registrations are going to be started but I don’t know I will do that or not because I will not do that till I will not get my confidence back and I don’t think it will be soon.
Well that was all I was totally in shock today, that one match changed all the thoughts in my mind and my believes for myself, it wiped all of my winnings, all of my achievements and everything, I was just feeling like an absolute beginner infront of them, well let’s see what will happen further because for now I am not even sure if I am going to take part in the tournament even, well I am resting here because I don’t want to think much about that all and if I keep writing I will just think about it, I will just sleep today early from my routine because I don’t want to dream a nightmare with open eyes and this was literally a nightmare for me, it was the worst performance I would ever had in my life, well I will tell you if I will register for the tournament till then hoping for the best and waiting for the rest…
“Everyone have some fears, for me the biggest fear I ever have is losing my dreams…”
