Nisha and Sushrita…
Hello Guys,
Today we returned to home, Gwalior and today our whole day went in just train but I realizes some things today about I think myself and my behavior. But let us start from the beginning, so we had to leave for Gwalior today so we just get ready for it and than we departed from our home and than we took a bus for metro station of Jahangirpuri I was sitting on the back seats and I was just thinking about the things we have done there.
If you knows me personally, you might know I didn’t get emotional so easily and I was not emotional at that time but all the things we have done in these 4 days were just insanely enjoyable and that all was coming to mind again and again, I am not talking about places we visited there, I am talking about the fun and joy of being with a friend who was pointing almost every habit of mine which were actually those which my mom already told me to change.
I don’t did that at any time because my mom just says me to do that but she just make me do that at any condition. I am not saying she was changing me because every reason of her was true and nice and the real reason I didn’t does that ever after my mom’s saying also because I feels lazy in that but she just make sure that I am doing that. She never let me feels like I am alone, which happens with most of the people.
I engages to people just to divert myself from this lonely feeling and that is the reason I talks to anyone and I mostly remain on calls with any of my friend or I finds some work to do because I feels the loneliness but with her I didn’t need to engage in any conversation she just takes me in her conversation in any case. I already said in previous blog that in the Gurudwara of Chandini Chowk I just looked to Nisha’s face in whole Gurudwara and today I came to got the answer of what was I searching on her face.
I was looking for Sushrita, for those who don’t know Sushrita than don’t feel odd because many people knows the person who is she but no one knows where and how she is? There I found Sushrita on Nisha’s face I was feeling like she is not the person I know, she is someone else. Yesterday I was formatting her phone as her phone was behaving abnormally so we decided to format it but before that she sent me some notes she had wrote, I read those yesterday when I was going to sleep.
In those notes I came to know Sushrita a little bit but I am still feeling like I didn’t know anything about her. Everytime I see her face I feels like she is someone else which she never shows. I want to listen her full story I want to know about her I want to meet the real Sushrita but I can’t ask her directly to tell me that all the main reason of Sushrita to become Nisha as I already asked to her many times but she just changes the topic and never tells me anything.
I also don’t force much because I know someone just says you everything, each and every incident and each and every problem of his or her life if he or she believes in you, no one tells anything to people who they don’t believe. I am not saying she didn’t believes me but I think according to her I will not be able to understand her that is the reason she didn’t say anything.
Well I never forced anyone to tell anything except 2 people from which 1 is who I know she has no problem in telling me anything but the only problem with her is she thinks she will bother me if she tells her problem to me and 1 was who left me just because I was caring her very much. People says I don’t care about anyone’s problem and that is true because no one deserves it, I care about some people but now I left to force anyone because now I don’t want anyone to leave me because of this silly reason that I care them that is why they left me.
I know this is no reason of leaving but she told same these words to my friend that he cares very much and it was difficult for me to digest this reason but from that incident I didn’t forced anyone to tells his or her problems and that is the reason I always say ask me for help you will get it I will not ask for your problem or I will not help if you don’t ask for it even if I knew your problem I will not solve it till you ask for solution. I am well experienced of these things and now I am just overcoming my mistakes I had done in my past. I says I don’t like to regret anything it is just because I am already regretting for many things and know the pain of it.
Well coming back to Sushrita, I went from her to me, so I had already asked the peroblem but I had not forced and I will not force too. If she feels she should tell me she will tell me, I don’t have any confirmation of it when will it happen but I know one thing I will wait for it and I don’t have any words for my wait because only some people knows my waiting and if someone wants to know can talk to Shivani as she knows about my wait or you can ask to Deeksha if you know her. So I will just wait for it.
Well coming back to my professional life I didn’t get any mail from anywhere and as soon as I will get any mail or something interesting I will let you all know will than hoping for the best and waiting…
“I am not made from teachings of people. I am made from teachings of my pains.”
