Just crying…
Hello Guys,
Today actually my day was not at all fine specially from mid day, from the morning many things happened which was making me laugh and I was basically laughing on myself and my life, so let me start from the beginning of the day. So, I don’t know but I woke up early today and because of it I went to roof and listened some songs, my earphones were not fine but I was managing somehow to listen the song. I thought I will replace it as it was only 10 days older, I bought it just before going to Bhopal so I think it was just 2 weeks older, well after listening to songs I returned and get ready for class and took my class.
Today was only one class so I completed it and just after it Ashish called me as he wants me to go Bhopal with him for some reason, he is going to Bhopal to manage somethings for one of her friend and I don’t know why he needs me there but yes he was just forcing me to come I basically rejected his plan because I literally don’t wanted to go but than he conferenced me with her friend and than she started requesting to me to come and I melts, I have already written in this blog those who needs and asks for help they will get it and she was requesting so I was not able to deny her.
Well than I told Nisha that we have to go to Bhopal with Ashish on 7th March and will return on 11th March and she replied with okay go than I said I mentioned we, not I you are also coming with us and finally she agreed, so than I told my mom that I have got a call from Hexaware and they are calling me to Bhopal for some sort of Physical Verification, I can’t say truth to her because if I did that I can’t be able to go and now it is important to go. So, I just said this to my family.
Well than after it suddenly something happens actually not suddenly I was feeling down from the morning itself but I was hiding it somehow behind my laugh but till the evening this feeling turns to feeling of cry, I don’t know what the heck is happening but I just wanted to cry I went to park to refresh my mood and there Ritik and Dhruv also came they both are my school friends, so they came and we were just sitting on the boundary, actually only I was sitting on the boundary and that is so because I always sits there nothing was so special in it but one person came and ordered us to vacant that place and because of his order I just refused and it leads us to an unhealthy debate we actually were fighting from words at that time Ritik and Dhruv took me away from there.
After sometime I came to know that he was a police officer, and this makes me feel more angry, till now I was just feeling sad but from than I started feeling angry too. I just wanted to kill someone and that someone was myself, I called Nisha and told her what happened with me in the park and I was just shouting I think, if so than sorry for that Nisha but at that time I was not only angry, my mood was already upset, I went to park to refresh my mind and there my mood gets more upset.
Before all that Nisha called me and informed we got HR Interview mail from WIPRO which is scheduled for tomorrow her timing is 12 noon and my timing is 10:30 A.M. I can’t understand why always my time schedule is in the morning, almost first in the batch. Well my mood was already not fine and than I listened about it now I was thinking in this mood how I will give HR Interview and before coming to park I just handled my mom and my 2nd younger sister, they both were crying and just because of misunderstandings mom was in different misunderstanding and my sister was in different and I was just handling both.
This all makes my mood more disturbed already than this police officer came to fight with me what should I do now and I have to give HR Interview with all this, I am feeling like where should I go to die? I called Deeksha in the evening and told her everything about my mood and I shouted almost 1 hour on her. Now also I am feeling like I should go somewhere and die, I life is just nothing and of no worth. Yesterday when I came my dad asks me to give him a massage as his body was paining and than asked me what will happen of me when you will go to job as I told your younger brother to massage my legs as my health was not fine yesterday but he didn’t do that he was using phone but he didn’t do the massage and I slept in pain only.
I felt like what am I doing and what will I do by doing job if my parents will not even get the basic facilities what will sofa set in the house do if my dad has to sleep in pain. My faith is already lost from one of my sisters and now this happens, I was just feeling why I went to Delhi and this was one of the reason I don’t wants to go Bhopal but I can’t say no to Muskan, Ashish’s friend as she had specially requested me to come.
If I say the real truth of my heart, I am just crying nothing else I am just crying from the morning and literally don’t know why in the starting I didn’t knew why I wants to cry but till the evening everything was clear. Well you all don’t upset your mood, I am just okay for that so I am resting here, I will tell you all about tomorrow’s Interview of WIPRO and everything else till than hoping for the best and waiting for the rest…
“Sometimes I feels I don’t deserves success, but than I reminds the people for whom I has to become deserving…”
