Sorry for not being able to do anything…
Hello Guys,
Today was a fine day not much work to do as today is Friday last working day before weekend so I haven’t done much and the reason for that is same as yesterday, actually I again got a dream which was also as horrifying as yesterday just the difference is yesterday I lost my mom and today I lost myself, as yesterday I will tell you the dream at the last.
So, in the morning again I woke up early and today I was almost at the state of crying, but somehow I hold myself and trying to explain myself that it was just a dream nothing else, I then got ready somehow, the only thing which remains constant is the music which was still trying to cheer me up, but today it was not having much effect on me, well I was having a status call, so I have updated whatever I have done yesterday like file system and all.
Well, after that I again continued my course and completed 1 more section, it was about the text analysis tokenization and all that backend stuff, after that I played game to relax my mind I was playing nice, we won and everything was good but I was happy but I knew that how I was faking that happiness.
Well, the last thing the dream itself, me and the one went to her home almost after completion of the MTech degree, when we reached, there were so many people they were doing arrangements for some event, neither I nor she was able to figure out what was going on there, then we came to know it was the arrangements for her marriage, we both were shocked at it, she went inside the home and I was with her mom and she knew everything about us.
I asked her about it and she told it is because everyone will make rubbish thoughts about you both so it will be good if she will get married and I asked everyone likes her Bridegroom and she said yes everyone in the relatives likes him after that I went to train to go to another city my friend was living there and I told him everything he was trying to support and handle me somehow and I was literally broken down, I was feeling so heavy that I can’t even express.
After that he told me that his friend has a marriage after 4 days, so we will attend it and you don’t think that much about it everything will be fine but I was knowing that everything is over now nothing will be fine again ever, I was again and again checking my phone if she has texted something or if she called me or anything, I was not getting anything from her side and I knew that she would be going through more emotional storm because she was the one who was getting married with a person who she don’t even know.
I got messages from her friends that be strong don’t take stress, be fine and everything else but how could I do that? After 4 days we went to my friend’s friend’s marriage and there what I was seeing was he was getting married to the one, I was in shock and my friend asked me what happened as I was holding my tears in my eyes and pain in my heart and with a heavy shivery voice I replied she is the one.
My friend understood and said me to leave from here I refused and said I will see the whole marriage now, I will not go anywhere, there her mom met me and asked you here I told yeah I am with my friend he took me here he is friend of Bridegroom, after that I just attended the whole marriage and the marriage was completed also, 2 things were done that the same time marriage was completed and I was broken completely.
I was still in the functions for some rituals all were walking to a river there I was searching for her mom and once I found her I don’t know why I asked her are you happy with this, because you wanted this only right, as you knew our relationship you were always against of it, I am fine that she got married but atleast ask to her, if you doesn’t liked me you can atleast choose someone who she knew, she has a bestfriend, who is of your caste has everything this person has and might get ready too.
But you just have ended everyone’s life you not only destroyed her life, you have destroyed 3 lives and 2 families completely, now neither of us will be happy in life, I can’t hold my tears there and as I was already exploded I was silently crying too, I was trying very much to hold my tears but they rolled out, well I don’t know what is going on what have you thought of, but your own daughter will never forgive you for this.
After that I woke up and I was literally shivering after waking up, I was feeling died from inside I don’t know why this is happening and one confession for you the one, this dream is of the one and I switched the roles in the dream and I don’t know why as she was telling me this I was feeling as I was instead of her place that is why I wrote the dream in this manner, I don’t understand if everything is perfect then what is the problem in the love marriage, ruining the lives of their children is more important for everyone just because of society, which doesn’t even care about the lives of your children.
That is all for today I don’t want to say anything else today, yesterday I got a dream related to this in which I lost my mom and today she got a dream in which all of us got dead from inside, I am not able to understand this at all, I don’t want to say anything because if something came true I will definitely die in either case, so I am just praying to God today with hoping for the best and waiting for the rest…
“Why society becomes the supreme decision maker in the case of love, for which our parents even got ready to kill their children from inside completely…”
