My biggest weakness…
Hello Guys,
Today I spent my day in relaxing my mind, totally in relaxing my mind. I don’t know why but from some time my mind is not coming to the normal state, it just thinking different conditions and the strange thing is that all the conditions are just pointless, they doesn’t makes any sense at all. Sometimes I feel like I should start crypto-ding or sometimes I feel I should start studying about the Rocket Science, sometimes I am a researcher, sometimes archeologist.
I am very much confused that is why I wants that my mind should come to normal state as soon as possible otherwise I will lost my personality. Active brains have this problem the most, they are this much of active that when they wants than also they can’t stop working of the mind. But this is the first time when this thing is going out of control from my hands. I don’t know what is wrong with me or what is the thing I am not following to that I can’t control my thought process for the first time.
I know being different is may be dream of many but literally and frankly speaking the problems you face when you are different than you can’t even explain your problem to other people as the problem is very different for them to relate and understand the your condition. I am not blaming anyone, I am just putting the truth infront. Sometimes condition is unexplainable too so I can’t say they won’t understand it is also a probability that you are not able to explain that also creates the feeling that people are not understanding but the result is same that you problem is intact.
I think this all is happening because of my sleeping schedule. I know I can work as much as I want without any problem if compulsory but that is true when I knows what to do or I have any plan in my mind to execute. But now when I sleeps I can’t get up in the morning. I have an option of not sleeping now also but if I sleeps, doesn’t matter early or late, I can’t get up early in the morning. I know the problem but I cannot solve it, the problem is season. Yes, may be you don’t know this but this season ‘Winter’, is the season of my weakness basically it turns my brain off. You were not knowing this because it wasn’t affecting me that much when I was infront of all of you.
Actually before this winters I always has an exposure of heat from somewhere, may be because it was Sun or a closed heated area, my college friends, remember we spent our whole winters in the football ground or Library, I was normal there because that whole area have an exposure of heat which stabilizes my mind but here at home I am not having any heat exposure. My home is surrounded by multistory buildings and my is a single story which prevents heat to comes to us and this all is making the things worst now.
That is the main reason why my brain is getting off and this winter is increasing day by day, if you won’t believe in me you can just try to touch my fingers. You will understand everything, actually my hands and feet are the most vulnerable for winters as it always stays cold no matter how much time I put them infront of heater or in sweaters. They gets heat infront of heater just for the time I keeps hand there as soon I take my hands away from the heater my hands again gets cold like freezer within 5 minutes.
I don’t know why but this is a problem I have with me, this season is just worst for me. I have an idea to solve this problem but it is not that much easy specially for me. Getting up at 4 or 5 A.M. and get access cold exposure means going out for a walk. This also have a problem that these days I can’t get up early doesn’t matter how hard I tries, I can sleep sooner or later, on time off time, I have tried all the permutations of time but none work for me I always gets up at 8:30 or 9:00 A.M. even the day I had exams too.
I don’t know the solution of my this problem but I am trying my best to control my mind as much as possible. I don’t know of anyone else but this winter is way more hard for me to handle than the whole year. I can handle the pressure but not winter. May be many people thinks I am making this a little over, I cannot make you feel what I feels and I don’t blame you for that but everyone has 2 things in his or her life. first is the reason to change which most people keeps a secret and other is the weaknesses which most people don’t know but those who knows they either try to hide it or try to defeat it.
I am trying to defeat it and you know what I will definitely defeat it because I can live with bad habits which I already have but I can’t live with any weakness, atleast not with any internal weakness. So, finally that is all for today, I know today’s whole discussion went in my weakness but I really wants to discuss this with you all, I am not that cowered who hides his weakness just because he don’t want to do efforts to defeat it. So, that is all hoping for the best and waiting for the rest…
“The only way to make yourself strong is, find your weaknesses, recognize them and try to overcome them, hiding is not an option at all.”
