Cage of Love…
Hello Guys,
Today, I don’t know what to write, I am totally blank, actually today I came to recognize a cage around me. Yes, I the most free person is in a cage may be it sounds funny or may be confusing or may be both but that is the reality I always see and ignores. Let me show you how?
Let me tell you my plans which I was having after completing 12th. Actually I was always a Space Time enthusiast, not from the starting but in 9th I started to look for the Aliens, yes I was stupid, I didn’t knows anything about Space-Time at that time. I was a kid and not mature enough to know what is reality and what is fake. I always thinks NASA and other officials shares all the information they gather to the public and they are 100% legit. As I already said I didn’t knew anything, so I just started it that my interest in Space-Time increases and from Alien search I goes to Space-Time exploration, all things in that fascinated me very much such as planetary system, possibility of us of going other planets, Black Holes other planets each and everything in it just attracts me to itself.
I learned many things and concepts from there but I was most interested in visiting any other planet. i wants to go to space basically I wanted to become an Astronaut but for that it was mandatory that I should choose the subject of BSc Physics because I cannot afford the BTech in that field. So, I just chose to go with BSc Physics, there was just a problem that I don’t wants Chemistry with it. So, I decided to go to Bangalore as the best college specially for Space Science is there where I was getting admission everything was fixed than guess what happened my mother rejected to send me that far. I am in Madhya Pradesh and it was Bangalore, I convinced her at my best but nothing worked. Than I seen a college of Noida and she said okay for that and than after fixing everything there she again did the same.
At last I said you tell me where should I choose the college after all you have rejected all the best colleges I selected in 5 months. She said in the same city I was in, Gwalior. I said okay but college will be of my choice she agreed. I visited government science college, and I didn’t see any management there nor any system even one teacher sends to other and they send to any other. I said a college where system doesn’t even exist what will I do here. I rejected that college and after little bit of research I got top 2 colleges from which 1 was very high in cost so I choose of second which actually turns to the first in that year only and sets a record of being first for continue 3 years in a row. I selected it when I asked about space science unfortunately they doesn’t have that. So, I asked about Physics Honors but they say I have to study chemistry in that.
That was my reason of choosing Computer Science as my official course as I was doing it unofficially also because of my Artificial Intelligence project. I thought it would be more easy for me and I was right well. So, from that point of time I shifted all my focus from Space-Time to Computer Science and than I was at the peak of everything I was very close of getting a guide for my project. I was joining Innomatics Research Labs which is the best institute for learning Practical Artificial Intelligence in whole India, a teacher personally asked me to join this just because of my capability of understanding the concepts and programming. Everything was fixed again, I have to go almost 1 year after this whole process, so I again and again keeps remind my parents about it so that I should not have to convince them again, but at the last this Covid-19 occurs and all plans just fade. I than also somehow convinced my parents that as the sessions will again open I will join it and they were agreed of it.
In mid of June or July I think, I got a call from there to inform that they have started a session online in half a price. I said to my mom and she denied that nothing happens online and I was agreed just because it was correct these all things are of one 2 one live interaction and discussions with proper environment. I drops the idea and than in starting month of October I think they started an offline session they again contacted me as I said them I will join offline session. I told my mom and she literally denied for that I don’t know why? She doesn’t that much of afraid of Covid-19 as far as I know her but she used the excuse of it. I thought my dad has said this because he literally thinks this about it. I was okay at that time this is just love and care of my parents towards me. The session begun on 12th that month on 14th my dad asks me about what will I do next in coming years as I cannot go there. I relied that’s okay what if I cannot join this session I will join next.
My dad in surprise asked which session I said this session which has just begun from 12th. You have denied for that so I accepted your words. My dad literally behaves like he doesn’t know about anything I have told that time. He immediately called mom and asked her all the thing what was I saying? She just replied that, “Yes, I have rejected, I don’t want to send him so far.” I than came to know the main problem was not the Covid-19 problem was it is in Hyderabad. I just got shocked at that time I just came to know that I am in the biggest cage of my life. I am in a cage that is just pretends to be an open world. From that I just leave to say about Innomatics. I am just trying everything from myself and you know what I will just remain in the tries forever.
Everyone just says I have the best life where I just doesn’t have any pressure from my family in that case yes I have the best life but just ask yourself do you wants to live in a life where you are allowed to do everything just except making your name and the most funny things you know which I always smile by listening, it is when my mom show me the pics of any big person or tells me that listen she or he got the job. I just smiles because I knows that no one earns all that from home. they could be having criticizers but you know what I am damn sure they must not be having a fake supporter. I don’t say agree my words or my wishes if you don’t have money if you can’t afford than tell me why are you just delaying it to the end and than just denying at the end of everything. Why are you letting me to start if you know you don’t want me to complete anything. The problem is not money the problem is their love. Their love doesn’t allows them to send me anywhere and than also they want me to become something. May be I am the only person who wants to push myself out of my comfort zone but…
I don’t want to blame my parents but you know what I can try as much I want, but love of my parents will always bring me to the same place sometimes I think may be I was not this much of nice may be if I was vulgur they might throw me out of the house. I don’t know but I don’t want love I was always in the illusion of freedom and at that day I realized I am in the strongest cage of my life or anyone’s life and you know what I lost all of my hopes, I am now just hopeless…
Don’t try to motivate me, I am not demotivated I just shows you what I thinks I should be, if you try to explain me anything than you must not have understood my condition because there is no solution for this and I don’t want any fake support please my family is enough for that. Just keep see yourself and make your life leave mine…
“Cage is a cage doesn’t matter it is of Gold or Love, than also it is a Cage and believe or not most strong one is Parental Love.”
